your thong is hanging out like whoa
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
