i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
