I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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