Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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