How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
