mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i need to put some appletini on your dick
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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