This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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