didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The struggles of a small town man whore
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
