you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
