Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
