i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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