Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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