yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
