i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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