can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
