My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
