you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my shit smells like andre
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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