I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
