I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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