What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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