K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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