My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
