He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
