My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
