He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
