Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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