i don't like sucking hair
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
