He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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