I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
