ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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