I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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