My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
