dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
