Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
