I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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