Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
