butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
