She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
