Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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