it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
