with your own penis?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
