I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
