no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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