we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
