I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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