everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
