idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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