Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
