And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
