question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
