Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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