I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
